The Post Where I Brag About How Good I Am

With 15 levels under my belt, I feel like I can give a proper recounting of my Choppa's 1v1 experiences so far. For those keeping score I'm using a 2 hander and am pretty well geared at all times with either blues, greens or PQ set items. An important detail I should mention is that these took place entirely in scenarios so bolster is applied to both sides unless otherwise noted.

Slayers: Equal win-to-loss ratio. I found that I had more luck against duel wielding slayers than 2 handed slayers.

Full-on zerg on zerg, the Choppa seems to win out slightly more over the Slayer, but I think that's just because I remember the victories more than the defeats.

Rune Priests: Don't have a chance. They can't outheal at this level, and, with no CC to speak of (while Choppas get their snare and Charge early on) it's not even a challenge.

Archmages: Same as Rune Priests.

Warrior Priests: They win more often but I have killed some 1v1. Sometimes they are too focused on doing damage that they forget to heal themselves. That's when I pull out my exhaustive blows and finish them off. Choppas win more in T1, but WPs fare better in T2

Bright Wizards: Hah!

Engineers: I've killed a lot of higher leveled Engineers (like rank 14 vs 20) if I can get close to them before they see me. Otherwise, I've been kited, rooted, knocked down by land mines and knocked back skillfully enough that the Engies end up winning. Most of the time, what makes or breaks these fights, is in how well-timed the root is, if I have Charge! ready to be used, and if I can kill them fast enough that they don't gain access to their lvl 1 Morale Super Knockback.

Shadow Warriors: Advantage goes to the Choppa. If the SW can kite, root and DoT me up long enough before I get in close, they can switch to Assault stance and finish me off just fine. Most of the time the Shadow Warrior is unskilled though and I just plow through them.

White Lions: I didn't get any opportunities for a 1 on 1 but in the group melee scraps, they seem to go down just as fast as Slayers and Witch Hunters.

Witch Hunters: These fights are always the most interesting and the most fun. If they can get the jump on me with their Incognito skill they will more than likely win. If I get the drop on them it's a pretty even fight. More often than not, the fights ended in a tie (meaning one would die, then the other would fall because of a DoT). These fights never end with the winner at more than 25% health and are more dependant on who gets they're exhaustive blow/ accusation / sever nerve off first.

Tanks: Didn't fight any 1 on 1, but I do remember a lvl 21 KotBS lasting a long time against 3 lvl 11-13 Choppas, killing one and leaving another at 50% health. It was quite a frustrating fight.


These are entirely what I've experienced so far and in no way should be taken as stone-cold fact.

As a final note, my favourite attack is Weaklin' Killa. No other exhausting blow even matters.

How to Seduce a Witch Elf

Valentine's day is here (Night of Murder too but that's a different story). For all of you single characters out there, time is running out on finding that special someone for this special day. But I'm here to help. For anyone with an eye on that cute Witch Elf who's always in the same warcamp as you, this step by step guide is here to help you on the path to wooing her on Valentine's.

Step 1: Study and Make Plans.

For a few days to a few weeks time, you're going to have to do some research on your intended date. This is done simply by staying out of sight while still being able to watch her. This is to pick up on little things that teach you more about her that can help you start a conversation, such as: when she checks her mail, does she put her left or right shoe on first, how many times she blinks in any given minute, and does she prefer Pepsi, or Coke?

Of note is that a woman's eyes have a strange defect that prevents them from seeing through foliage. Use this to your advantage. Proper spying technique can be found here.

Step 2: Striking up Conversation

Using your research you can now commence communicational relations. This is a risky part in the courtship. One false move and there will be no getting into the lady's good graces. Other guides will tell you to approach with confidence, not to stutter be amicable and tell jokes. This is effective, but I'm here to help you further. See Witch Elves are so used to looking down on others (physically and metaphorically) that finding a height advantage would be to your benefit. Standing on a higher step, or addressing from the top of a hill will make her notice you more, increasing your chance for that elusive date.

If that doesn't work, then remember that women admire persistance, particularly of the nagging variety. As a last resort, you can always ask her out until she succumbs to the pressure. There's no shame in success so keep at it.

Heeey..........................................................Hey, listen.........................................................Heeeeeeeeey

Step 3: Getting Around the Obstacles

Sometimes, there will be a wrinkle that needs to be smoothed out. Maybe an overprotective big brother or ex-boyfriend will be trying to hinder your efforts. Or maybe she won't go out on a date unless it's a double-date with her twin sister or best friend. In the latter case, simply bring a wingman that won't upstage you.

Brothers and ex-boyfriends can pose more of a challenge as they can easily be twice your size, and direct confrontations with them may result in having your pants stolen (according to Big Bang Theory). One solution is to merely drink with them and chat them up. Them realizing that you're a nice person, along with their drunkenness, will usually net you a pass.

Step 4: Picking a proper date area.

This can be summed in a set of photos

Good choices.................................................................vs........................................................Bad choices

A party or a kegger in a picturesque landscape vs. a volcano

A candlelit restaurant vs. a trip to the community slop-seller

Now that you have your date the rest is up to you as I have yet to extensively test out and master the rest of the dating process. Good luck all and have a happy Valentine's Day.

Stategies Part 1. Bulk Yourself Up

Feel like you're not getting the most out of your time in Warhammer Online? Need a killer, no frills guide on how to gank Chaos scum, or how to scatter Dwarf parts to the winds? Then let me help you with PQQ's Strategies in 64 Parts.

Part 1: A Proper Gaming Rig

This may seem obvious but most people don't realize how important a top of the line PC is to your gaming. Now what you're going to need is a big screen monitor, 30 inches or above would be tops. The latest video card, GPU, and the most GBs of memory and hard drive space available. Choose the mouse with the most buttons on it. A neon-green backlit keyboard can't hurt either.

But there is more you can do! That is only the pedestrian way to upgrade your rig. There are other, more drastic ways to increase performance that only the elite know, which I shall now share with you.

Processing power/speed is everything. If you need more than your standard GHz, and don't mind noise or taking apart your car, then after buying my specialized port cable (99.95$), you can easily hook up your PC to an engine. Let all of that internal combustion add hours to your clocks.

Easy

Now this rig is going to get hot so proper cooling is a must. Here is another trick of the trade you probably don't know, as I have patented it only yesterday. See you can't just cool your PC from from tubes on the inside, and fans definitely won't take the heat off of your engine. Even more drastic measures will be needed. Wrap up your case in hard plastic and make sure it is sealed tight as you will be submerging it in water. For a proper amount of space a kiddie pool has been reported to be large enough. Everything but your monitor, keyboard and mouse should be underwater. If you were using a laptop I suggest you step up your game and use a real gaming rig.

Easier

Now this may be all too much to handle but don't worry! The how-to-play portion will be coming soon so stay tooned.