January 25, 2009

Stategies Part 1. Bulk Yourself Up

Feel like you're not getting the most out of your time in Warhammer Online? Need a killer, no frills guide on how to gank Chaos scum, or how to scatter Dwarf parts to the winds? Then let me help you with PQQ's Strategies in 64 Parts.

Part 1: A Proper Gaming Rig

This may seem obvious but most people don't realize how important a top of the line PC is to your gaming. Now what you're going to need is a big screen monitor, 30 inches or above would be tops. The latest video card, GPU, and the most GBs of memory and hard drive space available. Choose the mouse with the most buttons on it. A neon-green backlit keyboard can't hurt either.

But there is more you can do! That is only the pedestrian way to upgrade your rig. There are other, more drastic ways to increase performance that only the elite know, which I shall now share with you.
Processing power/speed is everything. If you need more than your standard GHz, and don't mind noise or taking apart your car, then after buying my specialized port cable (99.95$), you can easily hook up your PC to an engine. Let all of that internal combustion add hours to your clocks.


Now this rig is going to get hot so proper cooling is a must. Here is another trick of the trade you probably don't know, as I have patented it only yesterday. See you can't just cool your PC from from tubes on the inside, and fans definitely won't take the heat off of your engine. Even more drastic measures will be needed. Wrap up your case in hard plastic and make sure it is sealed tight as you will be submerging it in water. For a proper amount of space a kiddie pool has been reported to be large enough. Everything but your monitor, keyboard and mouse should be underwater. If you were using a laptop I suggest you step up your game and use a real gaming rig.


Now this may be all too much to handle but don't worry! The how-to-play portion will be coming soon so stay tooned.

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