February 14, 2009

How to Seduce a Witch Elf

Valentine's day is here (Night of Murder too but that's a different story). For all of you single characters out there, time is running out on finding that special someone for this special day. But I'm here to help. For anyone with an eye on that cute Witch Elf who's always in the same warcamp as you, this step by step guide is here to help you on the path to wooing her on Valentine's.



Step 1: Study and Make Plans.


For a few days to a few weeks time, you're going to have to do some research on your intended date. This is done simply by staying out of sight while still being able to watch her. This is to pick up on little things that teach you more about her that can help you start a conversation, such as: when she checks her mail, does she put her left or right shoe on first, how many times she blinks in any given minute, and does she prefer Pepsi, or Coke?




Of note is that a woman's eyes have a strange defect that prevents them from seeing through foliage. Use this to your advantage. Proper spying technique can be found here.


Step 2: Striking up Conversation
Using your research you can now commence communicational relations. This is a risky part in the courtship. One false move and there will be no getting into the lady's good graces. Other guides will tell you to approach with confidence, not to stutter be amicable and tell jokes. This is effective, but I'm here to help you further. See Witch Elves are so used to looking down on others (physically and metaphorically) that finding a height advantage would be to your benefit. Standing on a higher step, or addressing from the top of a hill will make her notice you more, increasing your chance for that elusive date.

If that doesn't work, then remember that women admire persistance, particularly of the nagging variety. As a last resort, you can always ask her out until she succumbs to the pressure. There's no shame in success so keep at it.

Heeey..........................................................Hey, listen.........................................................Heeeeeeeeey


Step 3: Getting Around the Obstacles

Sometimes, there will be a wrinkle that needs to be smoothed out. Maybe an overprotective big brother or ex-boyfriend will be trying to hinder your efforts. Or maybe she won't go out on a date unless it's a double-date with her twin sister or best friend. In the latter case, simply bring a wingman that won't upstage you.




Brothers and ex-boyfriends can pose more of a challenge as they can easily be twice your size, and direct confrontations with them may result in having your pants stolen (according to Big Bang Theory). One solution is to merely drink with them and chat them up. Them realizing that you're a nice person, along with their drunkenness, will usually net you a pass.


Step 4: Picking a proper date area.

This can be summed in a set of photos

Good choices.................................................................vs........................................................Bad choices




A party or a kegger in a picturesque landscape vs. a volcano



A candlelit restaurant vs. a trip to the community slop-seller





Now that you have your date the rest is up to you as I have yet to extensively test out and master the rest of the dating process. Good luck all and have a happy Valentine's Day.

5 comments:

  1. Excellent. But I have a problem... I'm on Order and my character is a woman. Need help D:

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  2. You're out of luck as an Order character, but the woman part may not be a problem depending on the Witch Elf. I may need to right out a seperate guide for that.

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  3. this guide is made of win. Finally, something I can really use!

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  4. Thanks it is a good help, now to seduce a witch elf is definitely very easy by using your information. Thank you

    ReplyDelete